Bush Spreads the Love in Germany with Surprise Merkel Neck Massage

Posted on July 18, 2006

President Bush continued his disastrous world tour by completely freaking out German Chancellor Angela Merkel with a surprise neck massage during the middle of a briefing.

Chancellor Merkel was speaking with Italian Prime Minister Romano Prodi and didn't notice Bush's sneak attack from the rear. He managed to get both hands on her neck and shoulders before she pretty much freaked out. Bush then sauntered off, with an innocent look on his face. Needless to say, the German press is having a field day with headlines screaming "Bush: Liebes-Attacke auf Merkel!"

And, no, I have absolutely no idea what in the world possessed our president to engage in this inappropriate massaging of other world leaders. So, what was going through his mind?

"I know, I'll just sneak up and give old Angela-Bob a nice neck massage while she's talking to the Italian Prime Minister. She'll love it, because Prodi-Bob's such a bore. And speaking of bored, when's lunch?"