Dick Cheney's Traveling Requirements

Posted on March 23, 2006

The Smoking Gun has obtained a copy of the official list of demands from Dick Cheney when he travels. All performers have riders to their contracts which detail exactly how their dressing rooms and hotels rooms must be equipped, and some of the demand lists are pretty funny to read.

Dick Cheney's demands for his "Downtime Suite" (where the VP hangs out whem he's not giving a speech or showing up for whatever event he's attending) include:

All the lights must be turned on in the room

All televisions must be tuned into Fox News Channel

The room temperature must be set to a cozy 68 degrees

Decaf coffee must be freshly brewed for his arrival

Four cans of caffeine-free Diet Sprite must be waiting

He must have Calistoga or Perrier bottled water if his wife Lynne is with him.

Newspapers must be waiting for him: The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, the local paper and USA Today.

A hotel menu must be faxed to the advance team before the trip, and said menu should be waiting for the VP when he arrives.

There must be a microwave in the room.

Extra lamps must be placed in the room.

There must be a desk and chair and a private bathroom. The VP does not share a bathroom with anyone.

All stations must be tuned to Fox News Channel? Well, that makes sense. No one wants to hear unpleasant news or commentary when traveling. Especially if said unpleasant commentary might be critical of one's fabulous self.