Joe Millionaire, Episode 7: Wake Me When It's Over

Posted on February 10, 2003

After the fast pacing of Episode 6, I thought that things were going to really heat up in tonight's episode. What's that you say? It's still on? Oh sorry, I must have nodded off during the show. There was about a total of ten minutes of new footage in this episode, mostly Evan hemming and hawing about how hard it is to choose, and Paul powering down more cognac.

Evan is down to two bachelorettes: the mysterious and possibly psychic Zora, and Sarah Kozer, the notorious star of Dirty Soled Dolls and other films for those who are abnormally fond of women's feet.

So what new exotic places does Evan take his paramours? Skiing in the alps? Hot air ballooning over the French countryside? Cleaning some of the chateaux' many bathrooms? Nope. Just a walk on the estate and some chit chat. That's it. Intercut with the walks on the grounds were scenes from the last six episodes... a simple rehash of what we've already seen. Although one scene was pretty funny, given what we now know of Sarah's penchant for feet: the flashback to Sarah and Evan's tango lesson. Evan said that he had noticed how much Sarah "really seems to love shoes." So he gave her a black pair of strappy high heels, along with a bustier and some other undergarments. "I know you like shoes, right?" he asks. "I LOOOOOOOOOVE shoes!!" responds Sarah, perhaps remembering some of her lines from Dirty Soled Dolls. She certainly does -- and has the film footage to prove it.

The show ends without telling us who Evan has picked! Butler Paul Hogan tells us that up until now he has steadfastly refused to answer the question of whether there will be a big twist or surprise at the end of the show. (Kelly Ripa really grilled him on this, to no avail). Hogan says that he can now reveal that there will be a big surprise finish, which will be unveiled in next week's two hour finale. It's clear that this episode was re-edited after The Globe magazine showed what supposedly were wedding photos of Evan and Zora. (Boy, that must have infuriated the Fox producers! Note: next time, hire security at the chateaux to keep away unauthorized photographers).

It seems to me that, in order to maintain the suspense, the producers had Hogan come back for some pick-up shots to talk about Evan's decision process and to drum up interest in the finale. They probably noticed that Hogan is the most entertaining thing about this show. So we have to wait one more week to see if The Globe is right and to hear the rejected contestants tell us what they think of Evan. Now that, at least, should be entertaining.