The State of the Union

Posted on January 31, 2006

Well, that really wasn't worth staying up for: the State of the Union address was hardly a barnburner. Bush opened with a reference to 9/11, which was a great start for all those participating in the State of the Union drinking parties (e.g., one drink every time Bush mentions "9/11", "freedom" or a "blue ribbon panel"). After 12 mentions of "freedom on the march" and about 30 mentions of "democracy" and variations thereof, I admit I started to tune out.

There were no new policy initiatives, unless you count his demand that Congress pass a bill outlawing human-animal hybrids. Maybe it's because I recently saw Underworld on DVD, but the first thing that comes to mind when someone mentions human-animal hybrids is werewolves. Has that become some kind of problem since the last State of the Union speech?

In other notes, the president defended his right to spy on anyone he wishes, said he has a "plan" to get out of Iraq (although he doesn't seem to be sharing it with anyone) and declared that anyone who disagrees with him is a "defeatist." Yawn. What else? Condi wore a winter white suit, Mrs. Bush wore a pink suit, Dianne Feinstein wore a black suit and Nancy Pelosi wore a red suit. Make of that what you will.

Newly annointed Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito has a robe that fitted him perfectly: clearly he'd already had it ordered, altered, pressed and ready to go long before he was confirmed. He was so jovial -- laughing, chatting up his neighbors and smiling so much -- that I hardly recognized him. So many civil rights to gut, so little time.